Happy New Year, Welcome 2012.

Hmmmm…well the end of last year just flew by! I just noticed that I hadn’t posted since November!

How did you spend the last day(s) of 2011? How has 2012 been going for you so far?

My experience of this recent year change was different and while quiet by most standards was also pretty interesting. I have often had a love/hate relationship with New Year’s eve. I always want it to be big and flashy and fun and exciting; this however often means going out and finding that perfect party or event to attend; more often than not over the years I have found myself more in the place of yearning than of satisfaction. I am not sure where I picked up this concept of how perfect this night was supposed to be; but it certainly has followed me on and off for quite some time.

I spent years running after this ideal, giddy with champagne but feeling like there was a better party somewhere else and then that sense of longing would return. I think I recall one really good NYE when I was quite a bit younger that I spent in the arms of a person I had had a huge crush on for many months prior; I hadn’t expected to be with him that evening but it worked out regardless and I was surprised but pretty happy with the outcome.

I could say that the grand evening was a result of getting something unexpectedly nice, but with reflection I think it had more to do with the “un”-expected-ness of the evening. I have a real sense that if I had had any opportunity to plan out the event that I would have actually had less fun!

I think there are expectations and hopes (and fears) for the future that weigh heavily on this time of year. I also think that the transition from 2011 into 2012 is even more fraught with these than normal. I mean this is 2012 (hmm I wish I could find a way to have a voice boom that from a loud speaker and have the numbers flash)…

I have to say that there were a lot of good things about 2011; and there were also some really amazing challenges as well, at least for me personally. With each increase in vibration (and yes indeed the vibrations are increasing) I saw people around me (and myself included) dealing with grief and loss and a deep shifting, at a core level. Last year looked to be a year of addressing the issues that most needed to be healed and were often also the issues/ideas that were most firmly entrenched.

2011 was what I would call a “character building” year; and I mean that with a little humor and memory of my best friend in college and our shared phrase that meant OMFG life has gotten way too life-like, and that was “ah I guess we are building character”. I also mean it with some truth, because I think the phrase is surprisingly accurate. We have been building; or to say it even more accurately “unearthing character” or essence, from within ourselves.

OK so back to NYE. I had some options of places to go and people to see. I felt like I should do some of them just because it was That Night and all…but I have a new-to-me dog and she is pretty young and hadn’t been through the mass of fireworks with is NYE on the east side of the Big Island of Hawaii (people seriously like their fireworks here). She was an excellent excuse..er hmmm reason to perhaps stay home. Having just made it through Christmas more or less alone (ah the process of divorce is it’s own thing) and juggling a lot of plates in the air over the last couple of months; I really kinda looked forward to just staying home and hanging with my animals.

It’s funny though because even though it really was what I wanted to do;  I almost left the house anyway because of the siren call of the illusive “really fun NYE experience”; and even some guilt about not meeting up with people I know. As it turned out I asked myself point blank “so what is your actual motive?” and when I realized it was just doing something because the “imaginary” action judging police might take offense. I promptly put on my jammies and found my snugly chair and blanket; pulled up a cat 🙂 and watched me some Netflix, while periodically making random comments on Facebook to my friends in other time zones.

(one of which was to make sure there was still a world there on the east coast after the year changed over..since I figured I would want to make sure and eat my chocolate here in HST before the “end of the world” got to me. Alas everyone was still alive and functioning after 12:01 EST so my chocolate was saved).

As the actual changing of the guard came closer to Hawaii I decided to turn off the TV and start meditating. I have no idea why this had not occurred to me to in recent years; but it seemed natural this year. I got into a reading trance and also incorporated Theta. It was a lovely place to be in for the shift of 2011 to 2012.

I hadn’t done this before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I know I have often felt the year shift, but normally that happens at  a party or in front of a string of crackling fireworks. Being in stillness and attentiveness was such a different perspective. The shift when it happened was both simple and profound.

Imagine if you will, a stage with lights washing over it in some color. The director signals the lighting cue and the lighting technician flips a switch and the gel changes over the light can. Immediately the entire stage is awash with a different color…This is what I what I saw as I watched 2011 move into 2012. It was as if on cue the gel was changed for this reality and the lighting shifted. Everything moved from one color into a new color. I don’t have a name for the color, but it was lighter than the previous one and it was everywhere. Nothing changed but everything changed; all in an instant.

credit: André Castellan

 

It was really amazing, and very cool. I have no idea if this is normally how a “year change” would look, but it was how it looked to me this year. There was a definite shift in the baseline vibration of everything, and it was a really beautiful one. I felt calm and good as I observed all this; I stayed up and watched for another half hour then I completed my meditation and got ready for bed.

I didn’t wish anyone a Happy New Year, or kiss anyone at midnight. I did however (since I was generating a lot of energy) send a lot of unconditional love around the world and into the grid that surrounds us. I sent well wishes to all of us on this spinning globe.

It was one of the most silent NYE’s I have ever had but refreshingly it was also one of the most fulfilling. I hadn’t been chasing an experience this year; I had listened to my intuition and I had followed my heart. I felt at ease and at peace. I felt optimistic and interested in seeing what that new color would bring.

 

Aloha and Blessings, and welcome to 2012

Erika

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Love letter to my past; what to do with my mother’s house…

 

 

It’s my mother’s house (even though she gave it to me years ago and in truth we are both on the title). That is the issue, that is the question, that is the thing that sits at the back of my mind and pokes at me from time to time…what to do with my mother’s house?

 

 


I moved out of it more than two and ½ years ago, my mother two years or more before that. I have been saying I was going to sell it and I have had every intention to do so…except that… I haven’t. I haven’t sold it. I haven’t even listed it.

She looks at it rationally

Now part of that is because the housing market has totally tanked and it’s worth half of what it was 5 years ago. If the market was where it was back then, I am not sure I would even be having this constant internal dialog with myself about this house. Yet at the same time I am not 100% certain; and I believe that is the crux of all of this. If I talk to anyone else it seems a simple thing and as soon as I walk away I find myself unable or unwilling or distracted and the house continues not to sell (not being on the market and all). It also has fallen in value over and over again, making any of this far less appealing.

 

Let’s add to this that I am renting the house to someone. I had fully intended on selling it the summer after I moved out and bought the home I am currently living in 3000 miles away. This came on the heels of renting to someone my then partner swore by and who never actually paid me rent and left the house sad and unkempt. I was “done with renters” and I wanted to sell. But then what actually happened was that the woman who was helping clean out the house really wanted to rent it for her and her son, and since I didn’t have to do anything to rent it other than say yes and accept some rent which I needed badly, the house never made it on the market.

 

 

 

There are pros and cons to renting to a friend/acquaintance. One of which is that the person who used to be glad to see you or hear from you will stop answering calls and emails and basically cease to exist other than sending rent each month. This has been problematic both emotionally and logistically.

 

There had been talk twice in as many years about this person buying the house, and yet nothing has come of it. Now as I look at it, it almost doesn’t make sense to sell the home because I would be losing money given the market. This of course brings me to the next item of issue…property taxes. Ah yes these are the things that when you are really broke, fall by the way side and become overdue then delinquent and thus adding hundreds of dollars to the already unpaid bill.

 

This is what is staring me in the face currently; that and the fact I have been told by my tax person that if I wait until after this year to sell I will be paying a lot of taxes on anything I get for the house even if it goes lower than it’s current value…so as I write this perhaps I should list it and just see what happens. Provided the renter will even show up to show the house (part of the problem when the person really doesn’t want you to sell it).


This however is actually not about my head…oh no dear readers; this is all about my heart

This comes down to what I started writing about; the house itself.

If I had a lot of money (this is the sentence that I use to find out how I really feel about something separate from my issues around the money involved) would I sell this house?

If money wasn’t an issue would I sell this house?

 


This is the house I spent time in toddling around with my parents and grandparents. The house with the 80 year old wisteria, honeysuckle and camellia tree; the house with the garage that my grandfather built; the house with a history that always started with “this house began as a chicken coop when this whole area was a large farm and the farm house was that house way over there on the corner” to which there would be a pointing finger attached and I would dutifully follow the finger down the block to the largish home that housed one of my childhood schoolmates.

This is the house that has a well on the property that no longer is used or accessible but I always remembered it and thought that if the world fell apart at least I would be able to find water…This well had been filled in by my grandfather long before I was born. He used many things to accomplish this feat; including dumping a claw foot bathtub down the shaft; at least this is the mythology that I was taught at an early age when hearing the history of the house.

 

This is the house that I moved to when I was 14 after my grandfather passed away. The house that held me through all my psychedelic wanderings and coming out on many levels; saw me through High School and learning to drive and reading about UFO’s, reading countless Sci-Fi novels, listening to David Bowie and hitchhiking to Seattle on the Friday nights. This is where I wrote my college essay to get into the vegetarian co-op that was housing for the alternative school that I eventually was accepted into and moved out of the house in order to attend.

 

This was the house that I would come home to visit on breaks and the occasional weekend; the one that I would visit my mother in after my father passed away, the one that I came more often down to, to visit her as she became farther away mentally and that I had to eventually move her out of when the dementia became too difficult.

 

This is the house that I moved back into in order to be closer to her and in order to make ends meet financially and as a result became very depressed about being back in Tacoma.

And yet even moved through that over time and found a new place and contentment with being in my old home town which had grown up even more than I had. I came to love Tacoma for the first time. I lived here with my partner and actually had some really nice times together in that house, planned our move to Hawaii, planned and had our wedding while living in that house. Watched fences get built and plants planted and renovations planned.

This is the house where I created so many dreams. Some which came true and some which sadly did not; such as the dream of the marriage that had barely more than a few breaths into life before it started to pass away into something else.

 

This house represented family and history and possibility; it also represented my adolescence and the baggage and old pain of things perhaps better left in the past. It has also come to be connected in my heart with my mother; who still lives in the same city at a lovely care facility that is thankfully more like a 4 star hotel; and which is only a 10 minute drive, but light-years away from the life once lived in this house.

 

It’s no wonder that I avoid these issues. There are so many layers here; one on the next and on the next and on the next. In my fantasies I keep the house and rebuild it, add an apartment above the garage where I come to stay when I am in town. I move my soon to be ex-husband into the home for some kind of more than fair rent and we have b-b-ques when I am in town, he with his partner(s) and I with mine (who ever those people are to be) and in my dreams it feels good and connected and family like…maybe I eventually sell it and maybe I don’t.

 

I ask myself am I just keeping some kind of connection to the mainland; one that I don’t even know why I have since I rarely ever want to leave the island on which I now live? Do I envision that some day I will want to have the kind of jet set life where I would like to have an apartment 30 miles outside of a huge metropolitan city?

 

Perhaps it’s not about that at all but just the idea of a feeling that I have had about this little piece of land. A little piece of my history; a tree we planted for my mother; an idea of what is still yet to be; connections to many people I love through an address I have to fly for 6 hours just to visit.


 

And of course where the money comes from in this fantasy I am at a loss to know, but that is the same question as where the money is to come from for the taxes. And yes of course being me I have to say that ultimately it all comes from the Universe; and while that is absolutely true and reveals itself even in the writing of all this; I also know this post is about something small I hold in my hands, something personal and delicate like a empty tiny blue egg shell that has been left in the grass, in the spring, under a tree; someone’s former home.

 

 

Do I have to make these decisions now? Well not today it’s a holiday weekend, but it feels like soon. Perhaps I am just not willing to let this go until my mother has passed from this world; perhaps I am not yet ready to let go of all of this history; but then again maybe I am. We’ll just have to see.

Aloha and Blessings,

Erika

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Eclipse and Winter Solstice December 2010; Expansive shifts and Returning Light.

"credit nasa"

Remember May and September…I do. And yes here we are again with another visit of the Jupiter Uranus conjunction. In May/June it was in Aries; in September in Pisces opposite Virgo…(http://consciousmetamorphosis.com/?cat=35)


We are back again with this expansive duo but this time we have so much more involved; there are things that will be completed from that time as well since we are not just visiting this transit but we also have Mercury in retrograde (all about going back over things and seeing things we missed the first time) as well as so many other transits (Eclipse, Solstice & T-squares oh my).


Note: for those that start to nod off when I go into things like “degrees and aspects” stay with me, it will be done ever so quickly :).

So the players in this eclipse as we remember them; Jupiter and Uranus (sudden expansive shifts and unexpected weather), conjunct at 25 and 26 degree Pisces (empathic psychic dreamer of the One dream), square the eclipsing moon at 29 degree Sagittarius and the sun at 29 degrees Cancer (29 degrees is a karmic degree of completion.. time to finish what has been started) which is also conjunct (within 3 degrees) of Mercury which is retrograde 26 Sagittarius; and the north node (north node has to do with where we are heading…think of the north node like a set of headphones where we listen to information about where we want to be pointing). Pluto is in the mix (all about power, death and rebirth). The moon is also trine Neptune (the inner and outer mystic) and Chiron (the wounded healer) who are conjunct in Aquarius (the eccentric/electric visionary).

Add to this the fact all of this is happening as an eclipse occurring at the Winter Solstice (as the sun enters Capricorn). “Lunar Eclipse Dec 21 in the end of Gemini squared by Uranus, Winter Solstice with the Sun entering Capricorn”

This astrological configuration hasn’t happened for nearly 500 years (do you recall something similar about that grand cardinal cross of this past fall?). If you feel like everything is just too wonky, or changing too darn fast thank-you-very-much. If you are breathing and wondering if you are on a much larger merry go round than you thought, or if it’s just you. Fear not (and I really mean that, be fearless) it’s not just you…it’s in the air…(ah heck add in the water, earth and fire for good measure). Seriously; it’s not your imagination, things truly are this interesting!

Every time I think it just can’t get anymore interesting it does..:) I am thinking there are folks up in the bleachers getting a great seat for the show that just keeps unfolding here on this lovely planet called earth.

That’s nothing compared to those of us who are fortunate enough to have planned for and get to be here, actually IN the action. I believe that if you are here, it is absolutely on purpose! And in fact preplanned and who knows what you had to tip your travel agent to get you into an amazing virtual reality experience of this kind of magnitude. It’s not that I think all of this isn’t real, I do; and every day I am blown away by how very real it is. It’s just that it isn’t the only thing that is real (Spirit being timeless and all) and so one can view it from a distance, or right deep into the action of it all.

Imagine if you will, if you had the opportunity to be right in the middle of an amazing wave of influence; to be able to ride it and dive in and out of it, even tune the vibration of it; as you watch the incredible dawn of the new light of spiritual evolution emerge within a race of beings, on a beautiful and sentient planet?

Sounds like a great flick right? I’d totally go! I love that kind of thing. Now let’s add 3-D (you know where this is going if you have read my other posts of course but let’s take the journey anyway)…this is the kind of 3-D where you are so in the experience you can taste the tastes and smell the smells…it’s just so LIFE LIKE. Would you wait in line for that kind of experience? (Heck I waited in line for Star Wars, it was such an epic adventure.)Well if you are reading this I am thinking the answer is yes. What an amazing and awe inspiring time to be alive; or even (for those not currently incarnating) in the vicinity!

This eclipse and the solstice are about the return of the light on many different levels; touching many different things within us. It is happening during a retrograde period (Mercury) which is keeping us in place for the moment. This being a good thing, so that we look back from where we have come and look ahead to where we desire to go, but we are held in the moment between the in and out breath; which is one of the powerful things about the Solstice in general. It’s that pause, that moment of rest between one state and another, between the longest night of darkness and the movement back into light; it is literally a pause in motion, like that moment on a swing when you stop for just a brief moment, and it feels like you could fly, it is weightlessness. It’s Spirit.

Here is my translation of this series of transits in a nutshell

Illuminated by the returning light there are sudden and expansive shifts which uncover more of our part in the One dream; showing us what it is time to complete so that we can take our next steps. We remember what we brought with us from the past lives we have individually and collectively lived so that we can hear the information that is coming to us from our future. We face our fear of transitions and death and move into our power; becoming new in the process. By finding our affinity and connection and empathy we stand with our tender places; where we have been hurt or misunderstood and by tending to them we move into the higher vibration of our ongoing evolution.

So let us take that pause, and align ourselves back up with our course, so that we can put the light to the best use possible to illuminate our way. If we are waiting for it all to be over I think we will get way too tired way too early. Let’s change that paradigm. Let’s perhaps think of those marathon Lord of the Rings epics; you know…where it’s so exciting and you want the conclusion but you don’t really want it to end; or perhaps a fabulous conversation or a seven course dinner, or falling in love; things that we want to really experience and draw out as long as we can.

Within all this I want to reiterate; please be gentle with yourself. You wouldn’t unroll a new leaf on a plant and expect it to be fully formed and shiny before its time. It’s still tender and delicate as it starts to unfurl. Be at least that kind to yourself and to the other beings you encounter on this journey; and if you see a path clear a little bit more than someone who may be stressed or frightened, share your light; it will definitely come back to you.

Use this Solstice to release what no longer serves you; even if those things were once very good. Release what has gone before and keep your eye and heart on the unfolding center of expanding consciousness. Use the eclipse and the last bit of Mercury retrograde and 2010 to see what has been hidden; keep the treasures and recycle anything else; bring only what serves you into 2011.

Aloha and Blessings,

Erika


Here are some treats…
Astronomy picture of the day-

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html (if you are reading this on a day other than the 20th please look for that day on this site).

And some information on the astronomy from this web site.

http://www.citystatetimes.com/1935/winter-solstice-2010-coincides-with-lunar-eclipse-2010/

“Four astronomical events will be happening on December 21 and that means we have a lot to see in the sky during this day. Dec. 21 will be a full moon and it will also be the annual Winter Solstice. The astronomical spectacle does not end there because parts of the Northern and Southern Hemisphere will be seeing a total lunar eclipse and others might just be lucky to see the Ursids meteor shower.

The Ursids meteor shower is rarely seen due to the fact that compared to other meteor showers this one is less bright, however, due to the total lunar eclipse happening that day it will be a chance to see it. The Ursids meteor shower begins December 17 and will end until December 26. If you want to see it then try to focus your attention near the star Beta Ursae Minoris (Kochab) in the constellation Ursa Minor.”


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Energetic Weather and a Solar Storm ~ Erika Ginnis

Solar eruption of August 1 2010, Credit Nasa
Solar eruption of August 1 2010, Credit NASA

Sometimes it is oddly comforting to find  out about physical manifestations of energetic processes! I realize that is a mouthful, but what it means is; that as I and many others have been observing and commenting about the energetic shifts taking place on a spiritual and evolutionary level, there are also physical representations of this phenomena.

Once such example is happening as I type this,  which is the solar storm that has been taking place yesterday and today (August 3rd and 4th) due to the solar flare on August 1st.

New light, new energy, new things…

Good news is, there may be awesome northern lights for many people (probably not where I live, here in Hawaii as I am pretty far south) but definitely up where I used to live (Seattle area). I am curious how this will effect the electronics I know and love :). I do know that during one of my phone sessions today, we experienced quite a bit more oddness in cell reception. In fact we lost the call three times in one hour (which is a record for us).

There is a lot of new energy coming into us, and I find it bizarre and awesome that it is showing up as something as literal as the energy coming directly from the Sun. I dreamed something about the galactic center last night, didn’t bring much of it back but I know there is a lot of exchange energetically right now, and we are coming into a new alignment with a new level of power and energy. This is not trivial stuff, and I think people feel it and respond to it on a lot of levels.

I have been talking to a number of people who have been experiencing tremendous change, sometimes marked by depression, or feeling overwhelmed by changes, or by extra energy that they have absorbed without meaning to.  I have also been talking to clients who have been moving through this experience and are starting to come out the other side of it (yay!) and are moving into greater expanded understanding about who they are and what they want to be and do.

One common theme seems to be: becoming more, or becoming larger. I was chatting to a friend the other day about her business, she was saying that she knew she had two choices, staying small or getting really big, and that there didn’t seem to be a lot of middle ground as far as size of her business went. She was dealing with the ideas and potential limits she placed on herself whenever she thought about expanding.

This was interesting to me because I have gotten the information (from meditations and also from a reading by someone else) over the last month (as I may have mentioned in earlier posts) that I am supposed to be expanding and getting my stuff out into the world more, “moving into my Goddess self” yikes! LOL

I was told I have been keeping myself, my visibility too small. Well fine, I moved to the middle of the Pacific ocean, but I guess that is no excuse. I am kidding a little here, but there are larger forces at work here, for all of us; or better to say AS all of us. We are all being asked on some level to make choices, and to become bigger, more…to move into another state of beingness.

Ok so I can relate to feeling a little intimidated by all of this; but in the midst of this here comes this Solar storm. What does that mean? Well we are being bombarded by way more waves/particles of energy. This is something that is true on a “psychic” level, but now we can actually see videos of this happening on a physical level as well.

Video of solar flare

The physical mirrors the energetic and the energetic mirrors the physical. Perhaps we can look at it also on an archetypal level as well, seeing this bursting forth and coming straight at us here on the planet, as being an energizing factor for our new evolution as a planet. The Light of the Sun literally breaking off and cascading toward and over and around us, giving us more potential energy to use in this transformation.

How are you going to use this energy? How are you responding to it?

Something that can come up when we feel ourselves drawn into a new arena is fear and our limitations. Sometimes we want to do something new or larger, and just the fact that we haven’t been doing it yet can stop us from even starting it; as if we need to have been DOING the new thing already in order to feel justified in doing it now! Seems silly when I write it down, but I am betting I am not the only one who has run into this concept.

So what is the answer? I think it is just to re-frame it.

Use what you have done as the evidence of what you CAN do, as opposed to the reason you can’t do it  (“I can’t do this job because I have not done it yet, I have been too busy doing this other career and so don’t know how to do this new thing). What you HAVE done is your spring board for the new thing! Think of it like a brand new canvass, just waiting for the brush and the paint to create something new and exciting and beautiful.

You can also use the same process you used to do what you have already done (either spiritual or mundane) to do the next things; build upon what you have done, even if it feels really different.


Here is some additional information I saw today as I was working, in relation to us becoming larger. I saw the image of Self as spirit being like an over arching umbrella, and that we need to balance being within our creations and being above them.

We come into them to get them “all over us” in order to really feel them and visualize them and bring them into manifestation. That is great we dive right into the middle of what we are doing, merging with it, enlivening it. This is awesome, and part of the dance and the process. However what I was reminded of today, as I was doing a reading, is that we also will benefit from going up to that umbrella view; to go up above it all and remember that we are spirit, that we are not our creations.

Remember you are the spiritual being that is the energy that funds whatever you are creating, but you aren’t your creations; even if your creations are made of your energy.

In the same way that you are not your body, you are also not any project, or relationship or job, or even your evolutionary process. You are that which is experiencing it and creating it.

One of the techniques that I remembered again today was one that I think will help all of us in this new process. It is the process of commitment without attachment; or owning something %100 as spirit without absorbing it.

It is one way in which we separate from what we are doing %100 as spirit, and at the same time own our creations %100.

This may be challenging to conceptualize (and harder still to verbalize) but one way I was taught to do this was to imagine (most easily done from a place of quiet and meditation) two roses out in front of you, one representing your own personal energy and the other one representing the project or creation.

Take the roses and move them (in your minds eye) so that there is space between them and allow each to have the energy that belongs to it specifically; let it flow into each corresponding rose.

Imagine all of the project/creation energy that was present in your personal rose to flow back to the project; this allows us to have space from what we are creating giving us more perspective.

Imagine that your personal energy is flowing out the rose which represents the creation or project rose back into your personal rose; this allows space for the project without all the accompanying limitations that we might be bringing to it.

Then I would suggest to sit quietly and just get the concept that you are owning your creation %100 AS SPIRIT, while letting yourself be %100 “separate” from it at the same time.  What this does is to remove attachment to and effort around your project or new endeavor. It allows your effortless energy as spirit to be free to flow. It helps remove limits that we may still hold, from our newly envisioned goals.


One thing that I have been struck with on this topic that I have been meditating on since it really hit home; was the idea that you do not have to be the BEST at something (ie perfect) to be good at it; or for it to be worthwhile. I started to wonder how many people are not doing/sharing their gifts and light and ideas because they judge it as “not-as-good-as” and so don’t do it at all? If I take that to the extreme it means there can only be one who is the “good one” at anything; and even if you are the ONE that is the BEST, there is so much energy going into keeping that place because that itself is so transitory! Plus it’s totally subjective! I am not saying to stop striving to be the best you can be at something, but there is a difference between having that as something you are inspired to do; and letting it stop you from doing all kinds of different things or new things.

This becomes more important as we move into new avenues of expression that may be entirely new for everyone since we are all evolving in so many ways.

All is one, even though we are all a variety of expressions of that One. Each time you let yourself move forward become larger greater, move into new territory, it’s like one of the flowers on the HUGE tree of US opens and blooms; each time a flower bursts open it stimulates more flowers to bloom.

One thing that I believe to be true is that we are all in a big period of change, call it a growth period if you like but it is a continuing experience, plus if the sun itself is part of the process, then that makes it even larger than we might have thought; exciting times these.

Aloha and Blessings ~Erika


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Truth in advertising; unedited evolution ~ Erika Ginnis

Faith and Trust

Something I did the other day, maybe two days ago. Was to take my iPhone (which I use way more than I ever thought I would) and start a new note. Not a big deal right? Well maybe, but it was really helpful to me at least the evening I did it because I started a list of things that have gone well for me.

Let me back up a bit and let you know why I was doing that in the first place…Sometimes I am not sure what to share on my blog. I have three all together (but of course, if one is good m-u-s-t add MORE) and this one is really dedicated to the process of evolution that I believe we are all hip deep in, on this lovely blue planet here at the beginning of the 21st Century.

I started this blog because I had ideas and visions and experiences that I thought might be of use to other people out there who may be having something similar happening to them in the midst of all this change. Being a metaphysical teacher and counselor, it kind of made sense to me. I am still very much in line with that intention. The thing is, I find that I sometimes edit my own experience because I want to be a place of inspiration rather than adding to the angst.

This is good in theory, but more difficult in practice, because I find I can be in such an “editing” mode that I don’t write as often as I might, or share all that I might. The thing is, there are most likely not that many people reading this anyway, so why all the self-critique? Part of it is just old habits, part of it is training, part is wanting to show up differently in various aspects of my life. What is occurring to me however, is that I often get so much value out of the experience of others as I hear their stories; what makes me think that only the “cream” of my experience will be of use to someone else? This is a process of shifting and change we are all involved in and sometimes it isn’t all neat and tidy.

If all I show is the neat and tidy aspects of what is going on, what kind of message does that give? And once again I have to ask who am I really writing for? If I am writing for my self and my own evolution then I need to be willing to process all that I am really processing, not just what I judge as being helpful to someone else; if I am writing for other people (and that gets sticky all on its own) then what makes me think that they are not going to relate to what ever it is that is up for me in my life at that moment? Law of attraction being what it is, wouldn’t it follow that whoever finds me on a given day will be drawn there simply by the vibrations of the thoughts and words that I am pondering, and wouldn’t that mean it is perfect all along?

Thoughts are like stars, they have their own gravity and collect their own solar system around them.

I am the creator of these thoughts, or perhaps I am the medium through which they come into this reality. Regardless I want to be in a place to respect that creative process and also revel in it; let my thoughts and ideas and observations come up from inside of me and spread out in all directions gathering what they will. I want to trust that whoever is reading, is here for some good of their own, and whatever I am sharing is going add to it in some fashion.


So back to the other evening…I am juggling a lot of emotional things these days. I have lost a parent recently; and by lost meaning their energy is still around but their body is not. I have another parent who is living in a “memory care” unit of a lovely facility, but which costs a fair bit to maintain. I have someone who I am technically married to who no longer lives with me and I am completely unsure about which direction that relationship should or will go; and while I attract a lot of dollars, I have also created a series of situations where what was promised did not actually arrive.

I understand this is my creation; it doesn’t always help to know that (especially if I use it to beat myself up) and it isn’t the bit of information that will help change it. How often do we rack our brains trying to find the place that originated the issue in the first place? What was I thinking, why did I attract that? Why am I still dealing with “..fill in the blank..”?

We are all in the process of sifting through the stuff that needs to change; it is happening on a personal level; a governmental level; an environmental level; and a consciousness level. These shifts can be enormous or tiny; we are all part of this larger moving energy and the whole thing is evolving is leaps and bounds. I am sure you have noticed!

This is a lot to chew on, and I sometimes let it all go, and dive into the deep of me. Then there are times where the things of the day require my attention; I must attend to the various details which are mine to do. I find myself scared, or hurt, or angry. I find myself tempted to stay in those places longer than it is prudent for my own peace of mind.

I generally don’t stay there too long, it’s just much to uncomfortable; but I would be lying if I said I was never there, because I am, and I do feel those things.

I have been working with some of that this last week, after one of my bills (the one for my Mom) went up, while one particular income stream went way down (eek). This brought up fear, and anger and hurt all at the same time. In the midst of all of this I found myself thinking about the many many times (in the past) that amazing answers, and ideas, and opportunities, and even cash, came my way to solve my “dilema du jour”.

So I thought maybe I should write some of that down, remind myself about it, see if I am just making that up or if it really has happened that way. I starting with the note screen on my phone and now it is so long it takes at least 10 scrolls (with my finger) to get to the end; even writing this I have added two more.

I am writing about this because it is what is going on with me. The list I made helped remind me of all the “out of the blue” things that have happened over and over again. This is important because those are the “solar systems” I want to populate.

I now find that I could probably use re-reading this list more than once. I am not sure how this next phase will right itself. However I have this blog, and since this is definitely “spiritual evolution on a personal level” this topic is totally applicable. And I will keep you (whoever you are) and me posted.

Aloha and Blessings,

Erika

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