Hmmmm…well the end of last year just flew by! I just noticed that I hadn’t posted since November!
How did you spend the last day(s) of 2011? How has 2012 been going for you so far?
My experience of this recent year change was different and while quiet by most standards was also pretty interesting. I have often had a love/hate relationship with New Year’s eve. I always want it to be big and flashy and fun and exciting; this however often means going out and finding that perfect party or event to attend; more often than not over the years I have found myself more in the place of yearning than of satisfaction. I am not sure where I picked up this concept of how perfect this night was supposed to be; but it certainly has followed me on and off for quite some time.
I spent years running after this ideal, giddy with champagne but feeling like there was a better party somewhere else and then that sense of longing would return. I think I recall one really good NYE when I was quite a bit younger that I spent in the arms of a person I had had a huge crush on for many months prior; I hadn’t expected to be with him that evening but it worked out regardless and I was surprised but pretty happy with the outcome.
I could say that the grand evening was a result of getting something unexpectedly nice, but with reflection I think it had more to do with the “un”-expected-ness of the evening. I have a real sense that if I had had any opportunity to plan out the event that I would have actually had less fun!
I think there are expectations and hopes (and fears) for the future that weigh heavily on this time of year. I also think that the transition from 2011 into 2012 is even more fraught with these than normal. I mean this is 2012 (hmm I wish I could find a way to have a voice boom that from a loud speaker and have the numbers flash)…
I have to say that there were a lot of good things about 2011; and there were also some really amazing challenges as well, at least for me personally. With each increase in vibration (and yes indeed the vibrations are increasing) I saw people around me (and myself included) dealing with grief and loss and a deep shifting, at a core level. Last year looked to be a year of addressing the issues that most needed to be healed and were often also the issues/ideas that were most firmly entrenched.
2011 was what I would call a “character building” year; and I mean that with a little humor and memory of my best friend in college and our shared phrase that meant OMFG life has gotten way too life-like, and that was “ah I guess we are building character”. I also mean it with some truth, because I think the phrase is surprisingly accurate. We have been building; or to say it even more accurately “unearthing character” or essence, from within ourselves.
OK so back to NYE. I had some options of places to go and people to see. I felt like I should do some of them just because it was That Night and all…but I have a new-to-me dog and she is pretty young and hadn’t been through the mass of fireworks with is NYE on the east side of the Big Island of Hawaii (people seriously like their fireworks here). She was an excellent excuse..er hmmm reason to perhaps stay home. Having just made it through Christmas more or less alone (ah the process of divorce is it’s own thing) and juggling a lot of plates in the air over the last couple of months; I really kinda looked forward to just staying home and hanging with my animals.
It’s funny though because even though it really was what I wanted to do; I almost left the house anyway because of the siren call of the illusive “really fun NYE experience”; and even some guilt about not meeting up with people I know. As it turned out I asked myself point blank “so what is your actual motive?” and when I realized it was just doing something because the “imaginary” action judging police might take offense. I promptly put on my jammies and found my snugly chair and blanket; pulled up a cat and watched me some Netflix, while periodically making random comments on Facebook to my friends in other time zones.
(one of which was to make sure there was still a world there on the east coast after the year changed over..since I figured I would want to make sure and eat my chocolate here in HST before the “end of the world” got to me. Alas everyone was still alive and functioning after 12:01 EST so my chocolate was saved).
As the actual changing of the guard came closer to Hawaii I decided to turn off the TV and start meditating. I have no idea why this had not occurred to me to in recent years; but it seemed natural this year. I got into a reading trance and also incorporated Theta. It was a lovely place to be in for the shift of 2011 to 2012.
I hadn’t done this before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I know I have often felt the year shift, but normally that happens at a party or in front of a string of crackling fireworks. Being in stillness and attentiveness was such a different perspective. The shift when it happened was both simple and profound.
Imagine if you will, a stage with lights washing over it in some color. The director signals the lighting cue and the lighting technician flips a switch and the gel changes over the light can. Immediately the entire stage is awash with a different color…This is what I what I saw as I watched 2011 move into 2012. It was as if on cue the gel was changed for this reality and the lighting shifted. Everything moved from one color into a new color. I don’t have a name for the color, but it was lighter than the previous one and it was everywhere. Nothing changed but everything changed; all in an instant.
It was really amazing, and very cool. I have no idea if this is normally how a “year change” would look, but it was how it looked to me this year. There was a definite shift in the baseline vibration of everything, and it was a really beautiful one. I felt calm and good as I observed all this; I stayed up and watched for another half hour then I completed my meditation and got ready for bed.
I didn’t wish anyone a Happy New Year, or kiss anyone at midnight. I did however (since I was generating a lot of energy) send a lot of unconditional love around the world and into the grid that surrounds us. I sent well wishes to all of us on this spinning globe.
It was one of the most silent NYE’s I have ever had but refreshingly it was also one of the most fulfilling. I hadn’t been chasing an experience this year; I had listened to my intuition and I had followed my heart. I felt at ease and at peace. I felt optimistic and interested in seeing what that new color would bring.
Aloha and Blessings, and welcome to 2012