Happy New Year, Welcome 2012.

Hmmmm…well the end of last year just flew by! I just noticed that I hadn’t posted since November!

How did you spend the last day(s) of 2011? How has 2012 been going for you so far?

My experience of this recent year change was different and while quiet by most standards was also pretty interesting. I have often had a love/hate relationship with New Year’s eve. I always want it to be big and flashy and fun and exciting; this however often means going out and finding that perfect party or event to attend; more often than not over the years I have found myself more in the place of yearning than of satisfaction. I am not sure where I picked up this concept of how perfect this night was supposed to be; but it certainly has followed me on and off for quite some time.

I spent years running after this ideal, giddy with champagne but feeling like there was a better party somewhere else and then that sense of longing would return. I think I recall one really good NYE when I was quite a bit younger that I spent in the arms of a person I had had a huge crush on for many months prior; I hadn’t expected to be with him that evening but it worked out regardless and I was surprised but pretty happy with the outcome.

I could say that the grand evening was a result of getting something unexpectedly nice, but with reflection I think it had more to do with the “un”-expected-ness of the evening. I have a real sense that if I had had any opportunity to plan out the event that I would have actually had less fun!

I think there are expectations and hopes (and fears) for the future that weigh heavily on this time of year. I also think that the transition from 2011 into 2012 is even more fraught with these than normal. I mean this is 2012 (hmm I wish I could find a way to have a voice boom that from a loud speaker and have the numbers flash)…

I have to say that there were a lot of good things about 2011; and there were also some really amazing challenges as well, at least for me personally. With each increase in vibration (and yes indeed the vibrations are increasing) I saw people around me (and myself included) dealing with grief and loss and a deep shifting, at a core level. Last year looked to be a year of addressing the issues that most needed to be healed and were often also the issues/ideas that were most firmly entrenched.

2011 was what I would call a “character building” year; and I mean that with a little humor and memory of my best friend in college and our shared phrase that meant OMFG life has gotten way too life-like, and that was “ah I guess we are building character”. I also mean it with some truth, because I think the phrase is surprisingly accurate. We have been building; or to say it even more accurately “unearthing character” or essence, from within ourselves.

OK so back to NYE. I had some options of places to go and people to see. I felt like I should do some of them just because it was That Night and all…but I have a new-to-me dog and she is pretty young and hadn’t been through the mass of fireworks with is NYE on the east side of the Big Island of Hawaii (people seriously like their fireworks here). She was an excellent excuse..er hmmm reason to perhaps stay home. Having just made it through Christmas more or less alone (ah the process of divorce is it’s own thing) and juggling a lot of plates in the air over the last couple of months; I really kinda looked forward to just staying home and hanging with my animals.

It’s funny though because even though it really was what I wanted to do;  I almost left the house anyway because of the siren call of the illusive “really fun NYE experience”; and even some guilt about not meeting up with people I know. As it turned out I asked myself point blank “so what is your actual motive?” and when I realized it was just doing something because the “imaginary” action judging police might take offense. I promptly put on my jammies and found my snugly chair and blanket; pulled up a cat 🙂 and watched me some Netflix, while periodically making random comments on Facebook to my friends in other time zones.

(one of which was to make sure there was still a world there on the east coast after the year changed over..since I figured I would want to make sure and eat my chocolate here in HST before the “end of the world” got to me. Alas everyone was still alive and functioning after 12:01 EST so my chocolate was saved).

As the actual changing of the guard came closer to Hawaii I decided to turn off the TV and start meditating. I have no idea why this had not occurred to me to in recent years; but it seemed natural this year. I got into a reading trance and also incorporated Theta. It was a lovely place to be in for the shift of 2011 to 2012.

I hadn’t done this before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I know I have often felt the year shift, but normally that happens at  a party or in front of a string of crackling fireworks. Being in stillness and attentiveness was such a different perspective. The shift when it happened was both simple and profound.

Imagine if you will, a stage with lights washing over it in some color. The director signals the lighting cue and the lighting technician flips a switch and the gel changes over the light can. Immediately the entire stage is awash with a different color…This is what I what I saw as I watched 2011 move into 2012. It was as if on cue the gel was changed for this reality and the lighting shifted. Everything moved from one color into a new color. I don’t have a name for the color, but it was lighter than the previous one and it was everywhere. Nothing changed but everything changed; all in an instant.

credit: André Castellan


It was really amazing, and very cool. I have no idea if this is normally how a “year change” would look, but it was how it looked to me this year. There was a definite shift in the baseline vibration of everything, and it was a really beautiful one. I felt calm and good as I observed all this; I stayed up and watched for another half hour then I completed my meditation and got ready for bed.

I didn’t wish anyone a Happy New Year, or kiss anyone at midnight. I did however (since I was generating a lot of energy) send a lot of unconditional love around the world and into the grid that surrounds us. I sent well wishes to all of us on this spinning globe.

It was one of the most silent NYE’s I have ever had but refreshingly it was also one of the most fulfilling. I hadn’t been chasing an experience this year; I had listened to my intuition and I had followed my heart. I felt at ease and at peace. I felt optimistic and interested in seeing what that new color would bring.


Aloha and Blessings, and welcome to 2012



Love letter to my past; what to do with my mother’s house…



It’s my mother’s house (even though she gave it to me years ago and in truth we are both on the title). That is the issue, that is the question, that is the thing that sits at the back of my mind and pokes at me from time to time…what to do with my mother’s house?



I moved out of it more than two and ½ years ago, my mother two years or more before that. I have been saying I was going to sell it and I have had every intention to do so…except that… I haven’t. I haven’t sold it. I haven’t even listed it.

She looks at it rationally

Now part of that is because the housing market has totally tanked and it’s worth half of what it was 5 years ago. If the market was where it was back then, I am not sure I would even be having this constant internal dialog with myself about this house. Yet at the same time I am not 100% certain; and I believe that is the crux of all of this. If I talk to anyone else it seems a simple thing and as soon as I walk away I find myself unable or unwilling or distracted and the house continues not to sell (not being on the market and all). It also has fallen in value over and over again, making any of this far less appealing.


Let’s add to this that I am renting the house to someone. I had fully intended on selling it the summer after I moved out and bought the home I am currently living in 3000 miles away. This came on the heels of renting to someone my then partner swore by and who never actually paid me rent and left the house sad and unkempt. I was “done with renters” and I wanted to sell. But then what actually happened was that the woman who was helping clean out the house really wanted to rent it for her and her son, and since I didn’t have to do anything to rent it other than say yes and accept some rent which I needed badly, the house never made it on the market.




There are pros and cons to renting to a friend/acquaintance. One of which is that the person who used to be glad to see you or hear from you will stop answering calls and emails and basically cease to exist other than sending rent each month. This has been problematic both emotionally and logistically.


There had been talk twice in as many years about this person buying the house, and yet nothing has come of it. Now as I look at it, it almost doesn’t make sense to sell the home because I would be losing money given the market. This of course brings me to the next item of issue…property taxes. Ah yes these are the things that when you are really broke, fall by the way side and become overdue then delinquent and thus adding hundreds of dollars to the already unpaid bill.


This is what is staring me in the face currently; that and the fact I have been told by my tax person that if I wait until after this year to sell I will be paying a lot of taxes on anything I get for the house even if it goes lower than it’s current value…so as I write this perhaps I should list it and just see what happens. Provided the renter will even show up to show the house (part of the problem when the person really doesn’t want you to sell it).

This however is actually not about my head…oh no dear readers; this is all about my heart

This comes down to what I started writing about; the house itself.

If I had a lot of money (this is the sentence that I use to find out how I really feel about something separate from my issues around the money involved) would I sell this house?

If money wasn’t an issue would I sell this house?


This is the house I spent time in toddling around with my parents and grandparents. The house with the 80 year old wisteria, honeysuckle and camellia tree; the house with the garage that my grandfather built; the house with a history that always started with “this house began as a chicken coop when this whole area was a large farm and the farm house was that house way over there on the corner” to which there would be a pointing finger attached and I would dutifully follow the finger down the block to the largish home that housed one of my childhood schoolmates.

This is the house that has a well on the property that no longer is used or accessible but I always remembered it and thought that if the world fell apart at least I would be able to find water…This well had been filled in by my grandfather long before I was born. He used many things to accomplish this feat; including dumping a claw foot bathtub down the shaft; at least this is the mythology that I was taught at an early age when hearing the history of the house.


This is the house that I moved to when I was 14 after my grandfather passed away. The house that held me through all my psychedelic wanderings and coming out on many levels; saw me through High School and learning to drive and reading about UFO’s, reading countless Sci-Fi novels, listening to David Bowie and hitchhiking to Seattle on the Friday nights. This is where I wrote my college essay to get into the vegetarian co-op that was housing for the alternative school that I eventually was accepted into and moved out of the house in order to attend.


This was the house that I would come home to visit on breaks and the occasional weekend; the one that I would visit my mother in after my father passed away, the one that I came more often down to, to visit her as she became farther away mentally and that I had to eventually move her out of when the dementia became too difficult.


This is the house that I moved back into in order to be closer to her and in order to make ends meet financially and as a result became very depressed about being back in Tacoma.

And yet even moved through that over time and found a new place and contentment with being in my old home town which had grown up even more than I had. I came to love Tacoma for the first time. I lived here with my partner and actually had some really nice times together in that house, planned our move to Hawaii, planned and had our wedding while living in that house. Watched fences get built and plants planted and renovations planned.

This is the house where I created so many dreams. Some which came true and some which sadly did not; such as the dream of the marriage that had barely more than a few breaths into life before it started to pass away into something else.


This house represented family and history and possibility; it also represented my adolescence and the baggage and old pain of things perhaps better left in the past. It has also come to be connected in my heart with my mother; who still lives in the same city at a lovely care facility that is thankfully more like a 4 star hotel; and which is only a 10 minute drive, but light-years away from the life once lived in this house.


It’s no wonder that I avoid these issues. There are so many layers here; one on the next and on the next and on the next. In my fantasies I keep the house and rebuild it, add an apartment above the garage where I come to stay when I am in town. I move my soon to be ex-husband into the home for some kind of more than fair rent and we have b-b-ques when I am in town, he with his partner(s) and I with mine (who ever those people are to be) and in my dreams it feels good and connected and family like…maybe I eventually sell it and maybe I don’t.


I ask myself am I just keeping some kind of connection to the mainland; one that I don’t even know why I have since I rarely ever want to leave the island on which I now live? Do I envision that some day I will want to have the kind of jet set life where I would like to have an apartment 30 miles outside of a huge metropolitan city?


Perhaps it’s not about that at all but just the idea of a feeling that I have had about this little piece of land. A little piece of my history; a tree we planted for my mother; an idea of what is still yet to be; connections to many people I love through an address I have to fly for 6 hours just to visit.


And of course where the money comes from in this fantasy I am at a loss to know, but that is the same question as where the money is to come from for the taxes. And yes of course being me I have to say that ultimately it all comes from the Universe; and while that is absolutely true and reveals itself even in the writing of all this; I also know this post is about something small I hold in my hands, something personal and delicate like a empty tiny blue egg shell that has been left in the grass, in the spring, under a tree; someone’s former home.



Do I have to make these decisions now? Well not today it’s a holiday weekend, but it feels like soon. Perhaps I am just not willing to let this go until my mother has passed from this world; perhaps I am not yet ready to let go of all of this history; but then again maybe I am. We’ll just have to see.

Aloha and Blessings,



Here is a youtube of the wave hitting Kona.

We here in Puna were so blessed. Everyone was evacuated that was within the inundation zone; since I am 300 feet above sea level I stayed put and had friends come stay with me that were evacuated.

Here is a good video of the wave hitting the other side of the island over in Kona.

Please join me in sending energy blessing and healing to all the people in Japan and everywhere where the damage happened.

May all Blessed be.

Aloha and blessings,

Dawn of Unity; Big ol wave of energy & now a Tsunami siren oh my!

Faith and TrustOk so it was my birthday this last weekend, and so I was preparing for the personal shift that always comes around my birthday as I go through my solar return (astrological name term for b-day :)) and had heard some about the shift in energy that would be occurring that was being referred to as the Dawn of Unity Day. I had only recently heard that term specifically but I had been to a talk a few months back and watched a movie by Barbara Marx Hubbard http://www.barbaramarxhubbard.com/con/ that mentioned the shifting that has been occurring over millennia and continues to this day as a series of quantum shifts in evolution on the planet.

There is also information about this regarding 2012, and making reference of the (Bolon Yokte Ku, the cosmic pyramid) and how it shows the distance in time between these quantum leaps forward; with the latest one starting March 9th and being referred to as the Dawn of Unity Day; showing that they are occurring more and more rapidly and positing that we are in a very accelerated phase in the evolution of consciousness on this planet. Here is some additional information on that http://www.calleman.com/content/articles/dawn_of_the_unity_wave.htm

Ok so that is all well and good and since I do the kind of work I do with my clients I have my finger on the pulse of some of these changes and how people respond to them; however I am often not prepared for the big-o-wave of energy that happens whenever something like this shifts!! Seriously…I talk about it here a lot and I am about to do it again; this is one BIG HUGE SHIFT in energy hahaah; have you noticed?

An update as I am writing this blog post, there was an 8.8 earthquake in Japan, one just hit me here on my computer and now a Tsumani warning here on the island; which is amazing considering the rest of the blog post which was happening before I knew this was going on. Ok so onto what I was saying…

Shifts aren’t always bad, they are just change, and people respond to change in various ways. How do you respond? I know that one way that is optional but often really easy to go to is fear. It’s completely understandable, and in it we often want to point at something or someone that can be causing the fear and make them stop thank-you-very-much! Or perhaps we go the other way and want to cling to something in the past that we felt comfortable in or that is known; which is fine but the potential there is that rather than moving forward and expanding this often comfortable thing, we can instead project ourselves backward in the past with that thing/person/event and not do us any good either, and can actually lead to a feeling of depression (to learn more about present time as a healing vibration http://consciousmetamorphosis.com/blog/2010/06/18/present-time-as-a-healing-vibration-by-erika-ginnis/

But what if the fear is actually an indication of something else; and in paying attention to that and adjusting energetically we can have a better experience of all of these changes?

I am going to use (drum roll please) an analogy (shocking I know because it’s so rare :)). I have used a similar analogy before and it kinda makes sense since I live where I live and I am literally surrounded by water on all sides (perfect for me btw). It came up when I was speaking with someone recently and in the expression of it I realized that it was something I should put out on my blog because these things are happening to all of us.

There are Big things happening all over; in everyone’s life there are things that are “a moving and a shakin’” it’s almost common place now except that it is always new and different. Take the island I am on for an example; and the more than 100 earthquakes we had on Saturday and the stupendous show that Madame Pele’ is putting on with the new vent on the volcano and lava shooting 65 feet into the air, those are BIG things, and hard to miss!

Just remember that these shifts are NOT personal; meaning that the Universe isn’t out to get you. These shifts as a whole, are on purpose, planned for (on some much larger vibratory level that we often have forgotten about) and are part of the birthing process of the “New” (anyone that has given birth or been at a birth can tell you that it’s sometimes kinda messy, but well worth it in the long run). These shifts are not personal they are global at the very least; how we deal with them however is very personal.

Our personal experience of the planet and the changes we are going through can make it feel like we are all alone in this sea of uncertainty. We can in that moment wonder if we did something wrong to cause this or are being punished or are not living up to some kind of ideal and are falling way short. How we frame things really informs our experience. The “frame” is the story we tell ourselves. The story, if we tell it long enough or well enough will start to be our personal mythic journey, so it’s always good to make sure we like the one we are telling. If you have a story that says you aren’t good enough, or are lacking in some needed aspects I would consider changing it ASAP. This is not to say that there aren’t things that you might want to change, get better at, or even stop doing altogether, but it’s the story around all of those things and how you relate to it can totally morph how all that unfolds; and more importantly how it feels as it is happening.

So getting back to my analogy (thought I forgot didn’t you?). I was talking to someone today about being on a raft out on the ocean. You have this raft and maybe it isn’t the ship you’d like it to be or that it may one day be, but it’s a good sized raft and pretty seaworthy. You are dry and happy on your raft floating around on the blue sea…minding your own business and then wham! A huge wave comes out of nowhere and totally splashes you off your raft into the water (how rude). All of a sudden things are not so easy and you are getting all wet and there’s some water in your ears and your hairs all flat against your head (you get the idea). This is an analogy of being in your zone and getting hit “upside the head” with a big ol wave of energy like is happening these days and especially this week, just the power of the shift can land you in the water totally off of your comfortable easy to navigate place on your raft.

This has the potential to be pretty upsetting (ya think??); you could decide to get down on yourself and decide that you are a failure in some way, or possible get kind of scared of the fact that you are now awash in the middle of the ocean. You have another choice; you can remember that you have a tether to your raft (much like a boogie board or surfboard can have a tether so you don’t lose it in the waves) and notice that it isn’t any farther away than your tether, and that if you hang on you can get your head out of the water and then eventually get your butt back up onto your raft.

I know this is an analogy (or reality depending on ones location) but it’s so very close to what is happening to the best and worst of us these days on planet earth. Things are really changing. It’s not your imagination. Remember though… you CAME HERE for this, it’s not personal, when new energy hits then whatever is up for you, is the next level of stuff to clear. Remember that everyone is going through some variation of this because we are all here experiencing these waves. As you do your own work and get back onto your raft (ie find your zone again, get your alignment back, adjust to the change, go through your growth period…there are lots of names for this) you can be of greater help to others. Add to the analogy that there are a bunch of people also in the water and they will be needing to see you and the fact you seem to have this raft for Gods sake!

If you are on your raft you can also remind them that they have flotation devices around their necks and if they just pull the rip cord they will have a mini raft all of their own. This of course speaking to the fact that we all come equipped with what we need even in the midst of great change; but sometimes someone else has to remind us.

Time is happening so quickly these days (faster than we think sometimes). It takes some adjustment. Sometimes things come up and we are totally in fear…wondering how we are going to get from point A to point B in one piece. We forget that we have gone through things like this before and made it through to the other side. Plus if we ask we will always get help, and often it’s miraculous in appearance.

Have you ever noticed how quickly we forget these miracles though? It’s as if as soon as something moves into the physical plane (we get that unexpected check, or the test comes back with really good news…) that we forget that it was a spirit thing first and then became a physical thing not the other way around. It’s like as soon as we get over the elation of being pulled out of “certain death” (which is often what it feels like…no matter how small the problem) we start with our intellectual process about how we can now point at the ways this thing came about; even though minutes before we were praying our butts off asking the Universe for some Divine guidance and or intervention :).

The important question is and continues to be “Who is your Source”? The answer to that question will be asked again and again through these earth changes. Who is your source; is it your job (better hope you keep it) or your clients (better hope they stick around) or your spouse (you know the drill by now on this one)…OR is it the Universal energy of Givingness and Wellbeing and Health and Love and Prosperity coming t-h-r-o-u-g-h those people places and things, showing up AS them?

To the degree that you can remember that everything starts out as energy (literally everything) and that the Source of all of that is what is actually coming to you, then when things gets all “shifty” you can bounce back way faster.

This is one of the reasons that I suggest people have what I call an “answered prayer journal” you can also call it “magick that worked” or “demonstrations of Good” or whatever you want, the name is less important than the thing itself and what’s in it.

In my answered prayer journal I have listed over the years, things that have gone really well; especially things that I had no idea of how they were going to work out and then something happened and I was totally in awe of how the Universe worked it out for me. I don’t put everything down, maybe someday I will be even more disciplined about it, but it doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be really valuable.

When I get into a place where I am feeling afraid or uncertain or any of the other possible less than ideal feeling states that happen when I am freaking the frick out 🙂 I pull out my journal and read it from the beginning. I start to see evidence (my former work as a Research Chemist still in me somewhere… I love supporting data!) of how over and over again even when I could not see how in the world something would be able to come through or get fixed or heal, that it did; and that it worked itself not only out, but worked out splendidly; often better than I could have “planned”.

If you don’t have one, start it the next time something works out really well. Add to it when you asked for help and got it, when you needed that money for that bill and suddenly something came to you out of the blue, when any prayer is answered (however you define prayer). This is a little like a gratitude journal (which I also have) but it is more specific, and it is so awesome to have when something throws you for a loop, something like say a Tsunami warning siren!

Aloha and blessings!


Love is the source code of this reality…Welcome February.

It is that time in the year when our attention in drawn towards love. Hearts and flowers, and perhaps even chocolate; all of which I am a total fan of by the way!

There is a lot of information about the origins of what we speak of as “Valentines day” most of which are interesting, surprising, and valid. None of which I am going to write on today (doncha just love me!!).

I am going to take this at face value and speak about the expressed reason for the upcoming celebration. I am going to look at it from a completely different angle. This comes from something that came to me while working today with 4 different people on four seemingly different things.

It is the reason why this kind of work actually “works” why metaphysics or healing or energetics aren’t just words but call forth actual experience. So put on your goggles and join me in inner and outer space. I am going to speak on Love.

Love is the source code of this reality. It is what everything is built from and built on. It is at the core of every particle, every idea, every thought, and every cell.

It is the fundamental building block of this Universe. It is the single indivisible particle at the heart of all particles, that is itself the entirely in which the particles move in and return to. It is the wave form; the Om; the Alpha and the Omega.

Love is the note that birthed the chorus and still sings in the surrounding harmonics and ringing overtones.

Find it, return to it and you have in your hands the basis for all creation and all manifestation. Reside in it and you will find at once that place that holds the stillness between the undeniable impulse to expand in all directions and all dimensions; and the total fulfillment and richness of the singular moment;  desire without need, enthusiasm without fear.

(100% commitment and 100% nonattachment)

Embrace the triune nature that is created and maintained by Love: The enthusiasm of initiation and forward movement; complete fulfillment and contentment in the perfection of the existent unfolding “now”; and the paradox of momentarily infinite space between these states, within which whole galaxies can reside.

Love calls to itself and it expands because of itself.

It is what we feel and think of as love, in all its many forms; but beyond that as well. The love within us when we find it; feel it; connect to it; is the terminal through which we access the enormity of Life’s expression.

Travel at the speed of Love.

Faster than the speed of light, faster even than the speed of thought. It has no need to traverse distances because it is already at the destination; it is simply a shift of focus and perception. Have your attention on something and perceive it; find yourself shifted by the “addition” of Love and your perception immediately changes.


1. Think of someone who had been annoying you; someone in your life you are having a hard time loving. This can be someone close to you, or someone in the world at large.

2. Spend some time every day from now until Valentines Day thinking of them in a new way. Imagine them with the kind of deep things that you would want/seek for yourself; imagine them happy and well, understood, accepted, appreciated, surrounded by people who really know them and cherish them, see them as feeling safe, secure and loved, held in the gentlest most caring arms imaginable.

3. Do this daily. Granted you may feel at first that you have to fake it for a few days (sometimes it can help imagining them as a young child…everybody was one at one time) just give it time. Ideally you will do this until they can walk through your mind unharmed 🙂

4. Do not tell them about this, or make a big outward deal about it. You are not actually doing this for them. You are doing it for you. It will change not only your relationship with them, but it will change your relationship to your reality. Trust me. It is worth every minute you spend on it.

Love is the source code of this reality. Get out your code book and start where you can start. Pet your cat, hug your dog, hold your child, cherish the characters in a favorite book whose actions you may not agree with but whose heart you understand. Some author somewhere knew them and placed them in the events; told their story. From within their journey they spoke to you and you came to love them. You understand them because they were written from Love.

Translate that to you.

Aloha and Blessings,